


Against the Dark

by LokiNeedsHugs1031



Series: Barisi Ficlets [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Barisi - Freeform, Bathing/Washing, Bisexual Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Bisexual Rafael Barba, Caretaking, Domestic Fluff, Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr. & Amanda Rollins Friendship, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s18e07 Next Chapter, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Hurt Rafael Barba, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Lawyer Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Love, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Near Death Experiences, POV Rafael Barba, Panic Attacks, Pining Rafael Barba, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:42:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25276360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiNeedsHugs1031/pseuds/LokiNeedsHugs1031
Summary: The aftermath of 18X07 where Carisi escapes death and the aftermath. The aftercare that should have happened.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Series: Barisi Ficlets [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1845442
Comments: 19
Kudos: 79





	Against the Dark

Bad days were a dime a dozen. Rafael knew that going into this line of work and he knew his boyfriend was aware of it as well. However, death threats and guns to heads were another case altogether.

It was Friday, thank anything out there that it was the weekend. Rafael planned on spending the whole two days with his boyfriend, who, had yet to text him, he reminded himself as he checked his phone. So, he texted Liv. Nothing. Then Rollins, which was responded with ‘They had a lead’ and nothing more.

He started to get worried as the evening loomed, close to dinner, past six when they had plans. He finally got fed up and went down to the squad-room himself.

“Where are they? I haven’t heard anything in hours!” he shouted as soon as he entered the precinct.

“Just got word now, Counselor,” Finn piped up, halting Rafael’s rage, “They’re fine. It was a hostage situation.”  
“Sonny?”

“He’s fine,” Rollins interrupted, “In a matter of speaking, he’s not hurt, just too close of a call. He and Liv are on their way back.”

“Why was I not informed?” he growled, his anger making him dizzy.

It was with that said that Olivia and Sonny exited the elevator, and right away Rafael could tell Sonny was anything but okay. He was more than disheveled, his hair damp and matted and around his hairline there was blood. Noticeable blood.

Barba managed to say ‘hello’ to Olivia but all of his attention was on Sonny, “What happened…” was all he managed, his fear taking hold in the shape of anger.

Sonny was speechless, still wild eyed and mouth trembling, so Olivia interrupted.

“Cop gone bad…he kidnapped a rape victim…it went south…” she sounded horribly shaken, close to tears, “Put a gun to Carisi’s head…I got in before anything bad happened.”

“And the blood? What about this?” he reached forward and cupped Sonny’s face, tracing a thumb along his hairline.

“Close range…” was all she said. “Took the suspect out…”

“I’m taking him home. _Now_.” Rafael snapped, “He shouldn’t have even come back here he should have gone to the hospital.”

“Raf, he’s okay…he’s not hurt…” Liv tried.

“Yeah, because he looks completely alright as of now, doesn’t he?” he fully embraced Sonny’s face, both hands, “We’re going home…he’ll be back at the office when _I_ say so.”

Sonny didn’t argue and neither did the Lieutenant.

Rafael led Sonny into their apartment by one arm on his elbow. As soon as he got him into the kitchen he once more cupped his face in both hands. He had not said one word on the way home.

“Sweetheart…” Rafael began, “Let’s get you cleaned up.” He felt as though he were leading a ragdoll.

Sonny hardly reacted, and it was getting increasingly worrisome. He sat him down on the edge of the bathtub, leaned forward and started the water. He took a deep, calculated breath bringing Carisis’s knuckles to his lips, “Cariño, por favor mírame. Look at me please.”

Sonny’s glazed blue eyes locked with Rafael’s, he blinked rapidly as if coming out of a dream, “Raf?”

“Yeah, baby, it’s me.” he leaned forward and kissed his cheek, “Let’s get you clean and into bed.”

He started unbuttoning the white and blue shirt revealing his chest, which was lightly covered in blood as well. It had leaked down his face and past his collar like some demented river.

“Raf…it was loud…it was so loud…” Sonny mumbled, his hand suddenly fumbling upwards and taking hold of Rafael’s.

“I know. I know it was loud but it’s over. It’s over now. You hear me? It’s all over and you’re okay. Get in the bathtub, bebé.”

Sonny was like moving a doll. A very limp, dead, doll.

Rafael got him situated before working him into the water, “Nice and warm. Nice and safe.”

It was a challenge, there was no question there. Urging him into the water an inch at a time, but once he got him situated Sonny took a deep breath and sunk into the tub.

Rafael soaked a hand towel into the bath, wrung it out and placed it over his boyfriend’s eyes.

“You just relax I’m gonna get the rest of this, alright?” he said, pouring shampoo into his hand and working it into Sonny’s hair, ridding him of the bloody residue. Sonny took a deep breath, leaning into Rafael’s touch. He continued his washing carefully, around his neck and chest and waist. Jesus, it has seeped all the way down. “You need to soak? Or do you wanna go to bed?”

Sonny took another deep, calculated breath, “Wanna sleep…I think…”

“Sit tight. I’m gonna get you some clothes.”

Rafael hurried into their bedroom and gathered up sweatpants and an old comfortable t-shirt. As he re-entered the bathroom Sonny had yet to move, lying motionless in the bathtub amongst the foaming water and he wouldn’t lie that it made him the slightest uncomfortable. Thinking of him dead. Gone. Gone from his life forever.

“Okay, mi amor it’s time to get out of the tub.” Rafael said, removing the towel, bending at the waist and kissing his cheek, the other cheek and then his forehead.

He was able to get his boyfriend out of the tub, wrapping a towel around him, both around his waist and shoulders. With an arm around him he led him to the bedroom, sat a towel on the bed so not to get the mattress wet and then Sonny.

He gently dried his hair, his ears, his neck and chest. he knelt down onto the floor, kissing both knees as ge eased sweatpants up his legs, “Lift your hips for me sweetheart.” Sonny did as told. Rafael gave him a gentle push to lie back against the pillow, picked up his legs and tucked them beneath the covers. He was worried. More than worried. Sonny had yet to really say a word, not really, nothing solid besides fear. He knew it was shock.

“Raf…” Sonny whispered, “I’m tired…”

“I know…” Rafael spoke just as softly, “Close your eyes I’m right here.”

Surprisingly Sonny did as told. This gave Rafael the opportunity to change out of his suit and tie and slip into pajamas. It was after midnight as he crawled into bed up against Sonny’s side. He wanted to pull him into his arms but that didn’t seem like an option right now so he settled for lying at his side and holding his hand.

He was finally falling asleep, even though anxiety was eating at him, when the cries broke the silence. Rafael blinked into wakefulness, turning on his side where Sonny was thrashing, “Sonny…Sonny wake up, it’s just a dream…Sonny, baby, open your eyes. Mi querido”

Sonny erupted from sleep and if Rafael hadn’t caught him, he would have fallen from the bed completely. He kept him at arm’s length, not wanting to frighten him further. Sonny’s eyes finally flew open, “Raf, fuck, oh my God…”

“You’re safe, you’re here with me, you’re safe,” he said over and over again like a prayer.

“I’m sorry…” Sonny sobbed, the cry abrupt and unexpected, “I-I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“No, no you didn’t.” he avoided any use of ‘you’re okay’ because he knew it was a lie. “You’re safe. It was just a dream.”

Sonny pressed his forehead to Rafael’s, “Just a dream…fuck…”

Rafael ran both hands up both of Sonny’s arm, up and down, up and down, squeezing every other pass. He brought his thumbs to sweep beneath Sonny’s eyes, removing the ever spilling of tears. He kissed one cheek and then the other over and over and Sonny more than fell into the touch before his face fell into the crook of his neck. He leaned back against the mattress, bringing Sonny with him and holding him close, “It’s alright, just a dream mi amor. Only a dream. Let’s lie back here.”

He situated them better beneath the covers, pulling the duvet up high all the while pressing kisses one after another into the soft, still-damp locks of Sonny’s hair.

“Thought I was gonna die…” Sonny murmured, muffled and almost muted.

“But you didn’t…you didn’t.” Rafael refuted, “You’re safe with me. You came home.”

“What about next time?” Sonny sobbed. “I- I walked right into it…I was so stupid…”

“No,” Rafael interrupted, “You weren’t stupid you were trying to save someone. You walked into a bad situation and that’s it. But you’re here. We’re here and you’re alive.”

Sonny continued to sob, falling fully against his boyfriend in loud fitful cries. He clutched at his pajamas as if it were his lifeline.

“I love you…” he cried, “I love you so much I’m sorry I scared you.”

Rafael rolled his eyes affectionately, “Sweetheart, why the fuck are you apologizing? This wasn’t your fault. You know what we’re gonna do for the next week? Nothing. Absolutely nothing but movies, food, and booze. I’ll massage you until you can’t move if I have to. I don’t want an argument and I’ll fight to the death any coworkers that argue with me. Got it?”

Sonny stifled another harsh cry, nodding, “Okay, okay…I love you so much.” he said again, “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too cariño and I always will. For now? Sleep. We’ll face all of this tomorrow.” Rafael said, threading his fingers through Sonny’s hair and kissing his cheeks, “We’ll face it tomorrow.”

**Author's Note:**

> please leave reviews!


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